A man convicted on multiple child abuse charges, including the oddly-worded “attempting to take indecent liberties” (taking liberties with something always struck me as a kind of cheeky minor transgression, you know?) told an investigator that he had been himself sexually assaulted… by Bigfoot, according to ABC 7 news (thanks to Warren Ellis for the link).

“I’ve had a few that have claimed abuse, but never by a mythical creature,” said Stafford County Detective Darryl Wells

More importantly, the comments on the ABC article throws up this gem:

Bigfoot: Child Molester from Dutch West on Vimeo.