I do tons of things every day that I don’t particularly want to, but do because they’re good for me, or will make life easier later, or to help someone out or whatever. Likewise there’s a ton of stuff I’d really love to do that I don’t do, for similar reasons. It’s the same for all of us every day, I am sure.

So why, when I can put on clothes, refrain from subsisting on chocolate alone, go to lectures, do the washing up, brush my teeth, complete coursework and not punch people who annoy me, can I not just ignore something and hope it goes away? What is this fucking retarded compulsion to dump all my issues on a basically innocent party? Not to mention someone equally as ill-equipped to help the situation as myself.

Of course, ignoring this shit isn’t like lifting weights (gets easier the more you do it), it’s more like swimming in butter…. wearing heavy shoes, with your arms tied behind your back and wearing a gimp mask. Whining to Matt about it every day doesn’t seem to help either, though that could be because he is a really unhelpful sod, I dunno.

You see, it’s that age-old story: boy gets rejected by girl, girl finds someone else, girl and boy become good friends regardless, boy never properly gets over girl, boy is tormented by her beautiful, smiling face every time he closes his eyes.

Also, I should totally be doing work right now, or cooking myself some food, or tidying up this sty, anything that’s not whining into the internet. SelfLoathing++;