I get to progress to the second year!

…without honours.

“What does this mean?” I hear you ask, a crude echo of myself just 10 minutes hence. This means that, depending on whether of not the business school finds my marks for one of my re-sits, I will never, ever be able to get any honours for my degree, no matter how well I do over the next two years.

See, I can’t log into the university’s portal with everyone and get my progression status, it just says “we’re unable to confirm your status, call someone!”. So I did. And I got shuttled about between departments until finally, a very stressed-sounding lady from the computer science school proceeded to blame everything on the business school. The joys of a joint honours degree!

It seems the little buggers on the northern edge of the campus (that’s the Exchange Building, to you) lost the one exam I actually feel I did well in (East Asian Business in the 20th Century, if you must know). Doubtless with this grade included in the calculation all manner of honours will be mine for the taking! As it is, they’ve only got the (assuredly low) marks for my other two re-sits.

My future hangs in the balance here, and nobody can find the examiner! I implore you, if you see any examiners lying around making the place looking untidy, urge them to get in contact. I can offer them a warm bath, hot food, cold beverage and a swift fucking kicking if they fail to produce my paper.