hierarchy

Let me break it down.

cheese on toast > cheese sandwich.

And while

cheese on toast > grilled cheese sandwich

it can not follow that

grilled cheese sandwich < cheese sandwich

due to what if often referred to as Cheddar's Theorem (Almqvist, Poole et al - 1974), which clearly states

D = -k(dT-T0)^2 + F

Where D is some objective measure of deliciousness, dT is the temperature of the cheese above room temperature. T0, k and F are all positive constants, with F dependant on the type of cheese, T0 on the eater's pain threshold, and k on the delivery method of the cheese.

This produces a graph much like the following:
cheese

As you can see, cheese is quite delicious at room temperature, and even when refrigerated to some extent. But beneath some key temperature it becomes too cold. As you heat cheese above room temperature it becomes yet more delicious, and increases inversely proportional to the square of the temperature difference approaching some ideal temperature. Beyond this the cheese is too hot, causing discomfort to the eater.

To simplify: within typical culinary temperatures, cheese gets tastier the warmer it is. Thus a grilled cheese sandwich is always going to be tastier than a plain cheese sandwich, even before you take into account the different k-values of grilled and raw bread.

7 Responses to “hierarchy”


  • I’m going to administer the dose now. It’s for your own good.

  • Although I would agree with this theory in general,
    unfortuantely your theory does not work for sandwiches.

    All sandwiches should be served at room temperature and /not/ mutilated by the process of toasting.

  • Your postulate, while flawed in many ways, fails most spectacularly in neglecting to account for the Italian panino (plural: panini), surely a sandwich by any definition and most definitely best served hot.

  • Shit, you’ve got me there.

    That I cannot argue with.

  • hai guyz

    I’m pretty drunk right now. And it’s not even 5pm yet.

  • Aww, you missing the cheese?

  • well hello hello mr du rose, how the devil are you? long time no see and all that, drop us a tinkle to let us know how you are!!!

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