Currently I am in London.

Well, currently I am lying on a makeshift bed composed of sofa cushions on Matt’s living-room floor, if you want to be specific (and I do – specificity is the soul of good communication).

Yesterday we saw… crap what did we see? I was shown the restaurant in which Gordon and Tony divvied up the Premiership like so much ham, the pub in Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels that a guy ran out of on fire, and an estate agent’s named after a character from the Hitchhiker’ Guide To The Galaxy. I can’t remember which one, but I drank an awful lot last night so cut me some slack you fuckers.

I also visited, at my sister’s behest, the newly-minted Abercrombie & Fitch store, which was like crashing a really cool party full of beautiful, stupid people. I swear, it’s like a nightclub that just happens to sell clothes – there are numerous employees, trim and chiselled, whose sole job it is to stand on the store’s many balconies and dance to the thumping music. I shit you not!

Today we’re going to see the Incredible Hulk at the IMAX cinema. I’ve never seen a movie screen bigger than a god before…