Lately I quite often find myself pondering how I would answer questions about life as posed by a child. Mostly in the morning while shaving, getting dressed and similar. I don’t particularly want to dwell on why this is – I am fairly certain I’m not broody – does anyone else do it?
Anyway, this morning I imagined myself fielding the dreaded “what is sex?” question from some precocious 9-year-old.
Some of my favourites:
“Sex is when daddy and mummy lock the door and do terrible things to each other.”
“It’s a very dangerous contact sport that you can’t play until you’re older.”
“Well, when a man and a woman… or two men, or two women, or sometimes a mixed group of more than two people… you know what? You should ask someone else.”
Post your own in the comments – let’s see what kind of therapy bills we’d have to pay if we ever reproduced~
“You know when you when you like someone so much you want to hurt them? It’s like that – but harder”
“It’s when daddy gets a tingle in his willy and mummy gets covered in white custard.”