A man convicted on multiple child abuse charges, including the oddly-worded “attempting to take indecent liberties” (taking liberties with something always struck me as a kind of cheeky minor transgression, you know?) told an investigator that he had been himself sexually assaulted… by Bigfoot, according to ABC 7 news (thanks to Warren Ellis for the link).

“I’ve had a few that have claimed abuse, but never by a mythical creature,” said Stafford County Detective Darryl Wells

More importantly, the comments on the ABC article throws up this gem:

Bigfoot: Child Molester from Dutch West on Vimeo.

Easter weekend was spent in St Andrews, which was pretty awesome. I would have been even more awesome if I had remembered that it was Easter when I booked the flights, and as such didn’t need to be back home for Sunday evening. Goddamn it.

Things I did in St Andrews:

Met Americans – Seriously, St Andrews has Americans like Nottingham has Chinese kids. I am pretty sure I only met two Scottish students, compared to around twenty Americans and a handful of English kids.

Ate Vegan – Not only is Meredith an excellent cook, more than able to make me forget there’s no meat in the meal, but she also took me along to the vegan society’s Sunday brunch, where there were all manner of delicious things I couldn’t pronounce (chorizo? charizo? charizard?). Also: a man who can make fondant from mashed potato.

Ate not-so-vegan – Gourmet ice-cream, a fudge doughnut and a deep-fried battered Cadbury Creme Egg. Oh sweet lordy.

Got caught barefoot in a blizzard – “It’s like, five steps from the door, you don’t need your shoes!” It most certainly wasn’t and I most certainly did!

Generally abused a pretty girl’s hospitality – I hope your bathroom’s dried out? <3