Ok, so I’m a goddam fucking retard.

I mean, seriously, maybe you thought I was kind of dumb, but no. Goddam retard.

See, last night I was making a nice big brownie (and I did, and it tastes delicious, do you want some?), and I went to lick out the pan… that I had melted the chocolate in… not 5 minutes previous… on the stove…

I’d like to think that, you know, at least I’ve learned a valuable lesson here. But really, let’s face it, this is not a lesson that anybody really ought to need to learn.