Monthly Archive for October, 2005

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there is a dog in my house

Seriously. I just got home, and there is a dog here. Nobody else. I don’t know how long it’s been here, who put it here or what it wants. I have called people who may have put it here, but they are not answering their phones. I am prepared to consider that it put itself here, somehow.

Other additions are a bowl of dry dog food on the kitchen floor, next to a bowl of water, and a dog bone made from compressed hides. The dog keeps raising its eyebrows at me; I scratched its belly earlier and told it that I thought it was odd.

It’s big, about the size of a large twelve year old child. It’s a Bernese Mountain Dog, the same breed as my dog which lives at my parents’ house, though it is not my dog (I am perfectly capable of recognising my dog, thank you).

Also waiting for me when I got home was the new Metric album, ‘Live it Out’. I’m playing it now, the dog seems to like it.

Editopostofacto: My calendar tells me that today is Jewish New Year, so happy new year Jewish people! Maybe the dog is a Rosh Hashannah gift?

A Declaration


Do you think they’ll believe me?

So hey, can I declare the last week non-canon? I’d really like to.

It would please me no end if, when reviewing my life (perhaps far, far in the future where they can make movies from your memories, like in that film) I can skip past this whole week, saying “oh, no, that was guest writer week – we don’t count that.”

You see, I’ve been acting incredibly stupid since, oh, Wednesday, and would very much like to resurface on Monday and tell everyone it was all dream sequence, I’m not actually a crazy stalker, JR is still alive and man never landed on the Moon.

The only really fun bit was when I got bored of introducing myself to people and started lying. My favourite:
“Hi, I’m Alex, I’m studying archaeology and anthropology ”
“You are? that explains a lot.”
o.O (maybe I’m on the wrong course?)

It went better than my first freshers’ week, because anything’s better than being bed-ridden, sick and miserable. That said, when you’re stuck in bed sniffling you can’t make an arse out of yourself all that much, much less chase after some girl all persistently and come on way too strong and creepy and, and….. *ANGST* >.<

So yeah, last week? Never happened. Gottit?