I have seen the future.

I can’t tell you anything, because they made me sign an NDA. But trust me, it’s pretty rad.

The One True Chocolate BarI can, however, talk to you about the immediate past, in which I have made countless millions off eBay, continued to risk life, limb and minor burning with my laptop’s battery, found the One True Chocolate Bar (see right) and written a couple of plays for your delectation beneath.

Also within this time-frame was made a firm and intractable decision by the cat to sleep as often as possible in my wardrobe. When I try to shoo it out it bites me.

I swear, if it shits in there I am going to turn it into a very small stew. I’m not going to eat it, because I have no idea where the bugger’s been (besides my wardrobe). The simple act of making it into stew will be sufficient.

Speaking of which, this week I was fortunate enough to eat meat whose name I knew. My sister recently had her two pet (I use the term loosely) pigs slaughtered, and while I do not know if I was partaking of Glen or Nick they were some very tasty chops indeed. I am unsure as to whether this is due to my familiarity with the animals, or just their high standard of living. Though I do recall Lenny the Lobster tasted pretty good, all those years ago.

4 Responses to “I have seen the future.”


  • I can assure you, the One True Chocolate Bar is true, and unfortunately I have so far only consumed one.

    Note the ‘so far’…

  • I’ll see your chocolate bar and raise you what I think is surely the greatest “holiday” season food never made:

    Chocolate peanut-butter covered turkey bites.

    Yeah, sounds good, doesn’t it?

  • Oh my goodness, there is a blog entry about them. O.o

    Should I be worried that my clothing space is going to be commandeered for space to store cookies ‘n’ cream bars?
    =P

    There is still a half eaten one on the desk.. potentially the last in Derby? =]

  • ^^^

    Methinks someone got out of bed on the wrong side.

    *makes “ooh, handbags” gestures*

    [Historical note: this comment was made in response to another comment that was so stupid I deleted it -bob]

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